Stopping the Chemo
Ok, so it has been abundantly clear to me that the pain/suffering and risk of chemo is not worth the few extra months of life it may provide. Stage IV Pancreatic cancer is a death sentence and there is no cure. I had one treatment (sitting in an uncomfortable chair for 6 hours) only to feel sick as a dog for a week. It depletes your bone marrow killing of needed white and red blood cells. Makes you vomit and have the unrelenting runs. Causes debilitating fatigue, just when you need your energy the most. The only reason I chose it was to make it to Eric's graduation in June. Now that feels rather arbitrary everything considered,
So for me, chemo is just not worth it. I rather live 3 months with some quality of life than 8 months with none. Trust me I will wring out every bit of joy from life that I can. lol I will have medical support and palliative care to reduce pain and complications. I have a loving support system and all end of life decisions are about made. So soon I will be on a glide path to the ultimate transition. I am so grateful for the wonderful life I have had and am prepared for the end. I know my decision is not for everyone, but it is abundantly clear it is the best one for me.
Roger, I support & understand your decision my friend. If i were in the same place, I would likely do the same. Treatments for other cancer's although difficult, the course for pancreatic is one of the worst. I know you are at peace as much as anyone could be facing this. I pray that you will get the best possible months remaining with control of pain & comfort measures near the end of the trail. The palliative care nurses are great. Hope you get the best quality you can wring out of it, each day a gift. It's an estimate, they never really know exactly. My sincere best to you & your family.
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ReplyDeleteI think I would do the same Roger...but only you can decide. Enjoy everything you love...I would gain 90 pounds in hot fudge sundaes and lobster( not together mind you) and stay slightly high around the clock! Hugs.
ReplyDeleteRoger...you are one serious bad ass !!! I’m very glad we met and became friends. I hope you capture every ounce and every moment of enjoyment, pleasure, fun and meaning possible...for the rest of your journey 😎
ReplyDeleteSounds like you made a decision which is best for you. Pain and suffering should not be an option. Reminisce with friends and families as they will cherish these memories. Please keep blogging for us folks who are not in your day-to-day life. Sending good wishes.
ReplyDeleteRoger after seeing two family members pass from cancer I agree that quality is more important than quantity. I am sure your son as much as he would like you physically present at his graduation doesn’t want to see you suffer. What he will learn is that you will always be there for him, that you will always be in his heart forever. Praying for you and your family.
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